Can you talk to an actual, in-person human? 🤖

 

How do you start a conversation? You know, that icebreaker moment that's supposed to kick things off? Well, if you are an introvert like me, then you might find it a tricky.

As an introvert myself, I know the struggle of starting to talk with people around you. Over the years I have found those strategies that can help you start a conversation in real life. 

In this guide, we will to dive in. Stuff that will help introverted leaders (like you and me) shine in face-to-face conversations. We will cover everything from those nerve-wracking first moments to building real connections that stick.

And, if you are a tl;dr reader, the easiest icebreaker to use is, "Hello." 🙋🏾

But let’s talk about...

Why Offline Presence Matters:

Online interactions have their perks, but meeting someone in person can be fun, too. In those face-to-face moments, trust can be built, relationships can be nurtured, and connections can be made.

When you're chatting with someone in real life, you can pick up on subtle cues like body language and tone of voice that come through in a different way online.

It's not just about building rapport. Offline presence can also plays a role in establishing credibility. Whether you're giving a presentation, leading a workshop, or just having a casual chat over coffee, showcasing your expertise in person is a powerful way to earn the trust and respect of those around you.

Do you know the magic of connecting IRL? ✨

It can even boost your online presence. That meaningful conversation you have at a networking event? It could lead to a follow-up email, a social media shoutout, or even a referral. Your offline interactions have the power to extend your digital reach and strengthen your online community.

Now let’s jump on to the tips and strategies to start communicating in real life.

Here are 10 bite-size chunks that are easy to apply.

1. Start with Small Talk.

Breaking the ice is worth it. 🧊

Starting a conversation can be nerve-wracking, but small talk is a great way to ease into it. Whether you're waiting in line at a conference or mingling at a networking event, starting with a simple observation or compliment can open the door to deeper conversation. 

Remember, everyone loves to talk about themselves, so asking questions is a great way to get the ball rolling.

Here are some examples you can get started with:

• Comment on the weather or the venue.

• Compliment something about the person's attire or accessories.

• Mention a recent event or news topic.

2. Prepare Ahead with Conversation Starters.

Having a few conversation starters prepared can help you feel more confident and ready to engage with others. Think of them as your lucky charms for navigating social situations and making connections. 🍀

Say something like...

• "Have you been to one of these events before?"

• "What brings you here today?"

• "I noticed you're wearing a [sports team] hat. Are you a fan?"

3. Share Vulnerabilities.

Being real and relatable can help break down barriers and make others feel more comfortable opening up too. It shows that you're human and creates a sense of connection.

Share how you feel, and ask for help:

• "I always get nervous at networking events, Debbie. Do you?"

• "Public speaking terrifies me. How do you handle it, Kadeem?"

4. Ask a Mix of Closed and Open-Ended Questions.

When it comes to sparking conversation, questions are your best friend. But not all questions are created equal. Mixing it up with both close-ended questions, which typically require a yes/no answer, and open-ended questions, which encourage more detailed responses, keeps the dialogue flowing and prevents it from feeling like an interrogation. It's all about finding that balance and keeping things interesting.

Examples:

• Close-ended question: "Did you enjoy the event?"

• Open-ended question: "What did you think of the event?"

• Close-ended question: "Have you traveled recently?"

• Open-ended question: "Tell me about your recent travels."

• Close-ended question: "Do you like to read?"

• Open-ended question: "What kind of books do you enjoy reading?"

5. Move Slowly Towards Deeper Conversation: Gradually Dive In

While small talk is a good starting point, don't be afraid to delve deeper as the conversation progresses. Building rapport first can make it easier to broach more substantive topics.

Try the IRF technique; Inquire, Relate, and Follow up.

Here’s how you can start:

• Mention surface-level topics like hobbies or interests.

• Gradually transition to more meaningful subjects like goals or aspirations.

6. Say What You Are Thinking.

Being authentic and expressing your thoughts and feelings at the moment can foster genuine connections with others. It shows that you're real and allows for more meaningful interactions.

Examples:

• "I'm really excited about this project, Dawnn. How about you?"

• "Jada, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Can we take a break?"

7. Embrace the Uncomfortable.

Are comfort zones are overrated?

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be intimidating, but it's often where the magic happens. Embracing discomfort and challenging yourself to try new things can lead to personal growth and expanded opportunities.

Follow these steps:

• Introduce yourself to someone new.

• Volunteer to speak up in a group discussion.

8. Push Through the Fear.

Feeling shy is natural, but it doesn't have to hold you back. Put yourself out there, and engage with just one person.

Examples:

• Approach someone standing alone and strike up a conversation.

• Join a group, and ask who wants a snack. 🍩

9. Engage with a Crowd.

Group talks can be intimidating, but they are also a great opportunity to showcase your expertise and connect with a larger audience. Speak up and share your insights.

Examples:

• Offer your perspective during a panel discussion.

• Participate in a group activity or brainstorming session.

10. Cosplay as an Extrovert.

Put on a persona for the night. 🦋 Chnnel your inner social butterfly, and actively seek out opportunities to interact with others. This can help you expand your network and build relationships.

Examples:

• Initiate conversations with strangers.

• Attend social events or networking mixers.

Still reading? 😀 Great. Here are four more ways to connect with in-person humans in a healthy manner.

11, Take Breaks When Your Energy Levels Are Dropping.

It's important to listen to your body and take breaks when you start feeling drained. Stepping away from the crowd for a moment to recharge can help you come back feeling refreshed and ready to engage.

Examples:

• Step outside for some fresh air.

• Find a quiet corner to relax and decompress.

12. Find People with the Same Mindset.

Surrounding yourself with people who share your values and interests can make it easier to connect and feel comfortable in social settings. Seek out communities where you feel a sense of belonging and camaraderie.

Examples:

• Join clubs or organizations related to your interests.

• Attend events or conferences focused on topics you are passionate about.

13. Practice Empathy.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see things from their perspective. It will make the conversation more genuine and help you connect on a deeper level.

With all the above tips and strategies, you can leverage your quiet superpowers. In fact, personal branding is said to be the thing of an introverted leader. Why? because of strategically think on doing something. 

Let’s take examples from some well-known Ed-tech CEOs.

• Aaron Skonnard, the name behind Pluralsight. Despite his introverted tendencies, Skonnard's ability to communicate effectively with employees, customers, and stakeholders have helped Pluralsight become a leader in tech skills development.

• Reshma Sujani, founder of Girls Who Code promoted her brand TED Talks and public appearances. Saujani has also inspired countless individuals to pursue careers in STEM fields.

14. Invest in Your Growth and Development.

Sometimes, a little guidance and support can go a long way in helping you enhance your offline presence. Whether it's through one-on-one coaching or mentorship, investing in your growth and development can help you become a more confident and effective communicator.

Start those conversations, and let your introverted leadership shine. The world is waiting to hear what you have to say. 👂🏾

Also, for more advice on speaking in public, check out my sixth book, SPEAK ANYWAY, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play:

https://mahlenaspeaks.blogspot.com/2023/11/speak-an.html

Thanks for reading. 🙂